my heart is an open palm, exposed and raw
In my land of bright lights you are effervescent -
Overwhelming at once, I am oblivious the next.
You are the palpable product of words I never meant,
Of clouded judgement, infinite dreams; my sweet Regret.
My conscience weighs you down and embeds you
Somewhere in the murky depths of this sepulchral soul.
Yet there is little want of redemption for what I do,
And you and your kind maketh the stories I never told.
Even now I would sing that I am yours, Yours!
As I believe you are mine in all your tainted forms.
Sucker as I am for your taste, touch and allure,
The beauty of folly is not weeping when all else mourns.
So this is an ode to my ill-fated penchant for
Secrets I have to keep, and everything that
I loved to hold but not to possess.
That I wish to forget, but forget to regret.
Tuesday, June 28, 2005
i'd rather not talk about history, but you probably know what that means. math tomorrow and then it's one last paper on thurs. haven't touched lit at all but i should be able to catch up i guess. yesterday's econs was fine, i could actually do all the essay questions. it's so ironic. i spent only two days mugging econs, and like almost everyday mugging history, but things are turning out the other way round. weird. well alright, history is after all, the paper that, 'write so much still cannot pass one ah'. ha ha yeah quote from someone who's very anti-cheryl. but whatever. I STILL LOVE HISTORY. this time is a lesson well learnt and deserved. gonna start my study plan straight after exams, right down to the very hour/min whatever the situation calls for. last night was the worst, i felt like an irresponsible wastrel. not a nice feeling at all. i'm never, ever letting it happen again, because i can't afford to do so and i won't be able to take it too. so yeah it's over and done with, so i shan't dwell on it anymore, lest i sink into depression (lol). ooh mom's back and she forgot my dinner. looks like it's instant noodles for dinner. the only thing nice about exams is that my mom turns extra kind, she wakes up super early in the morning to see me off and then she makes nice drinks for me when im studying and sometimes she'll even go 'aiya stop studying la last min work wont do anything for you' and she manages to persuade me sometimes. okok i really should get back to my math. i slept for five hours jes now, and so i don't think i'll call it a nap. ha ha. lucks to everyone* love!
written with ♥ at
3:09 AM;